What God Forgot
02 Jun 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: death, everyone, god, life, love, no one, religion, world
In the back of my mind I have always known that something was missing. Religiously, emotionally, mentally, physically. There was a piece missing from me that took a huge chunk out of each of these parts. I am incomplete and have no one to turn to.
God was something that felt too good to be true and with the way my life has always gone, I figured that if he did exist, he forgot a lot of things or just didn’t care. I’d prefer to believe he just forgot, that maybe he bit off way more than he could chew when he created everything and that he’s just sitting in an easy chair staring at the billions of tv monitors he has to watch people and is trying his best to go through his list.
Maybe my tv is broken. Maybe the tv you have only clicks on once your life becomes a tragedy film. Maybe he only watches the sad ones. I bet it’s this way for him, because I’m okay in life. I have a home, a family, somewhat okay health, an education, food, etc…but I feel so dead. I feel like I have too much but at the same time not enough and it makes me want to scream.
I think, perhaps, if God exists, he forgot to give me happiness. He seems to have given me everything I need to be happy, but I’m not, so maybe that was his personality flaw that he decided to gift me with. I don’t know, I just feel like if he were there he’d grant my one and only wish, after all, it’s only one wish.
I’ve had a lot of wishes though, petty ones that were ignored. I could understand that and at night when I pray to someone I don’t even think exists, I tell him. I talk to him like I would talk to any other person, but I always feel ridiculous and a little dirty.
